This has been what you might call A Week, hasn’t it? Let’s not even go into it, let’s padlock it in the shed, wipe off the workings-out on the whiteboard, Febreze the f•ck out of ...

Funny old thing, love. We spend our lives looking for it, or avoiding it, or claiming to be incapable of it. It frightens us; it fascinates; it can result in fucking, or crying, or hating, or yearning ...

I kept a journal for a few years, until last summer, when I got sick of the sound of my own voice (or sight of my own handwriting). At the beginning of the year, I started again, but on the Journal ...

Know how I’ve clocked that I have entered my Hyacinth Bucket ‘era’? First thing I did when I saw that knitwear pairing was shift my eyes straight down to their shoes. What footwear would you wear for ...

Oh, the state of everything. Sometimes, as a writer, I am aware of a perceived responsibility to comment on everything all the time, but like everyone else – except columnists getting paid £££ to open ...

Is it better to have a terrible time when the sun is shining, or in the driving rain? Does the contrast of hot weather/everything is awful offer a sliver of cheer, or make you resentful that you could ...

Time was, I would review this Blind Date column every week, but nowadays it’s very rare for me to do two weeks in a row. Time gets away from me, my brain doesn’t work on Saturday mornings any more, I ...

2025: where every day is like Sunday. A Sunday in Hell, while old episodes of RI:SE play in the background. Today we are going for a v quick spin round the latest GBD, between Henry, a 28-year-old ...

Fate has thrown together in the Guardian Blind Date blender of doom Imelda, 56, a local authority officer, and Jayesh, 66, who works in medical devices. Two jobs I want to know absolutely nothing more ...

What happened on the date Shockingly, the “table manners” question was NOT asked. It’s a cover-up! Imagine how bad the answer must’ve been for them to leave it out. Or the journo forgot. The date was ...

Aside from the weeks where somebody I love has died, this week has been one of the most terrible I’ve ever known so – in words that would send a jolt of lightning up both my grandmother’s spines were ...

In these serious times, there is a feeling of guilt attached to frivolity. A sense, perhaps, that you’re playing MarioKart while Rome frazzles. Political intrigue has rendered showbiz gossip ...